Season 2, Episode 14

Are There Still Things in a Relationship That You Aren't Supposed to Say?

 

Absolutely! I think that this goes along the lines of the phrase, fight fair! Often times when couples get into arguments, they find the meanest things to say to one another. Some of those things cant be taken back once they are said. Telling your  partner that you don't like their mother, or that they don't know how to please their mate in bed are just some of the DON'Ts in relationship fights.

 

Having an open line of communication when in a relationship, is very important. However, over time, you realize that there are things that your partner just doesn't want to hear and will no longer say. My husband has learned not to critisize the lack  of housework that I  manage to get done, since I own a business and work full time. I have learned to do the same, since he does a lot of the housework and works full time. It is just a fight that no longer needs to happen. Money is another subject that isn't the best to talk about unless absolutely necessary. I don't critisize  him for what he buys and he does not ask me. It saves a lot of headaches!

 

What are your thoughts?

Season 2, Episode 13

What Are the Break-Up Rules?

 

Over the years, I have been subjected to and initiated many break-ups. Some of them were not even mine. I am reminded of a drunken night in which I assisted a pseudo-friend to break up with a guy that she was pseudo-dating. By this I mean that I had never met the girl until earlier that night, and that she was "dating" a guy who was already married...but she was paying for his cell phone anyway. A friend of mine had known this girl for quite some time, but had just found out about this pseudo-boyfriend. She, the girl, and I had quite a few drinks before going to a pool hall one night.

 

In fact, this girl got so drunk that she allowed me to call this so-called BF and break up with him for her. I even demanded that he return the phone and pay for the bill himself. He, of course, called back several times during that night, and everytime, I picked up the phone and broke up with him for her and demanded the phone and payment of the bill. I am sure that the next morning when she woke up and her voicemail was flooded with voicemails from her so-called BF, she regretted the night entirely.

 

What are the break up rules? I don't really think that there are any. There is common courtesy, of course. But, when it comes to break-ups, you are either cruel or super sweet.

 

What are your thoughts on break-up rules? What was the craziest break-up that you had?

Season 1, Episode 12

Are Relationships the Religions of the 90s?

They might even be the religion of the millenium! With the signs of the apocalypse nearer and nearer, why aren't more people turning to organized religion? It seems that the adults of my generation and the generation before me have turned away from the house of worship and focused more on socialization. Was this something that we picked up along the way, or were all of us subjected to long, boring surmons on an empty stomach as children?

My grandmother used to take us to church every Sunday morning. My mother would insist that we go with her. We would arrive earlier than everyone else and stay later than everyone else. It was nightmarish. I remember dozens of hours spend laying on the church bench with a headache and an empty stomach hoping that it would end soon so that I could have a snack. Communion days were the best! After church my sister and I would run down the stairs to the basement kitchen and eat leftover bread and drink leftover grape juice. It was the best when there were no other children at church that day, because we would get all of it. Otherwise, it was a long treck back home with grandma in a car with no snacks and an uncle who had grandma stop for KFC on the way home, but never shared. It was torture smelling that KFC all the way home without being able to enjoy the taste of it. To this day, I think of those car rides everytime I pass a KFC.

What are your religion stories?

Season 1, Episode 11

How Often is Normal?

What a question! I guess that would just depend on how horny you are, right? Marriage does slow things down a bit in the bedroom. My hubby and I used to go at it like rabbits before we were married. Now, the poor guy is lucky to get it every other week. Too many things go on that prevent the lovemaking mood. It doesn't really help that my hubby is still in his sexual prime and women don't reach their sexual peek until their 40s or 50s. What is up with that?

Why would someone create a man who was riveting with sexual energy in his twenties and could go for hours, but didn't know what he was doing? Then turn around and make that same man more experienced in his 40s but not able to keep it going. While the woman reaches the height of her sexuality around the time that the man falters. That just seems like bad creating to me.

What are your thoughts about sex? Is it normal to do it daily?

Season 1, Episode 10

What Secret Lives are Mommies Hiding?

I don't know if I know enough mommies to answer this question. I know that my mom hid things. I am not too sure what things I am hiding from my stepdaughter. Are things that are not age appropriate considered hiding things?

When I was younger, my parents were stoners. It was a secret until my sister and I found my mom's stash well after my parents were divorced. It became a running joke when she would get home in an extremely foul mood that she needed to go light up. Fortunately for us, it wasn't just a joke. It really did make a big difference! She doesn't do that anymore, but it was a mommy secret.

I can't recall any mommy secrets of my own. I am pretty straight forward with my stepdaughter. My hubby used to partake, but doesn't anymore. He is saving it for his retirement party. I just couldn't handle the thoughts of liability that go along with getting caught.

What mommy secrets do you know about? Are you hiding something from your kids?

Season 1, Episode 9

Is it Better to Marry Someone who Loves you More than You Love Them?

I could say that it is better to marry someone who is equally in love with you, but how fairy tale is that? How can you tell if someone loves you more than you love them? Everyone shows their affection in different ways, right?

I think that as long as you marry someone who is in love with you, you should be okay! I was proposed to at the age of 18. On my 18th birthday, in fact. Though it seems looking back, neither one of us were really in love with one another. I don't even know why he proposed. Mr. M. proposed to me in front of my family and friends at my birthday party. If he would have had it his way, it would have been in front of an assembly at my high school. I was glad that wasn't the case. Looking back, I think that I said yes because I didn't want to embarass him in front of my family and friends. My friends, Donte & James, gave me a very interesting gift that year, which Mr. M. was not very happy about. It was the movie "Fools Rush In". I thought it was funny. Mr. M. thought it was rude.

Anywho, Mr. M. cheated on me several times and tried to get my sister in the sack while we were engaged. Luckily for me, my sister was more loyal to me than he was. It ended. He left the state and fled back to live with his parents. He eventually got married and moved back down to Florida. While I was away at AIT for the Army, Hurricane Charlie came through and cleansed the state of Mr. M. who again moved back to Indiana. I believe that he still lives there.

What are your thoughts on marriage? Is marrying someone without love okay? Will it work out?

Season 1, Episode 8

Were Threesomes the New Sexual Frontier?

In the days of sexual tolerance, are threesomes really a big deal? We now have access online to people who are ready to find couples who swing, wife swaps, and S&M. Due to this evidence, I cant really say that threesomes are the new sexual frontier. I think that they have been explored quite well at this time. 

Though I have never experienced a threesome in my married life, I did dabble in one while single (in a relationship). Well, more like I was coaxed into it with alcohol. It was a test that I guess I didn't pass. My boyfriend at the time, we will call him, Mr. J. had a friend over and we were all drinking. Mr. J. decided that I should kiss his friend. It went a little further, and a little further, until a threesome was underway. Apparently, Mr. J. didn't really want me to go through with this act and had been testing my loyalty, even though he was the one coaxing me into going through with it...and filling me with alcohol. No regrets, though. Mr. J. was obviously not someone to enter into a committed relationship with.

My hubby, however, has a different spin on things. He has been engaged in threesomes during a past marriage, and I believe also outside of marriage. I don't know all of the details, and I am pretty sure that I am okay with that. We have talked about threesomes, but cant seem to get around that whole having sex with another person thing. Still kind of feels like cheating to me, and to him, at least while you are married. But, if you are single, I say go for it. Being single leaves you open for experimentation.

What are your thoughts on threesomes? Are they still taboo?

Season 1, Episode 7

Has Monogamy become Too Much to Expect?

Hasn't monogamy always been to much to expect? Don't get me wrong, I am faithful to my husband and as far as I know...he is faithful to me as well. That isn't always the case, though. In colonial days, men committed adulterous acts with their slaves. Our presidents have always had a little bit of side action, right? Before we meet that eachother, that wasn't the case. I had been involved in adulterous relationships and he cheated on both of his previous wives. To him, it is a constant struggle. Whether that is because of the things that he has done in the past, or a man's constant need to spread his seed, I am not sure. All I know is that marriage gets a little bit easier as the years pass, at least my marriage. We fight less. We find ways to occupy eachother and occupy ourselves outside of the things that we do together.

In the days of open relationships and swinging relationships, is the concept of monogamy outdated? Is it possible that healthy relationships are the ones that are made with feelings of indifference that allow the parties to share in extracurricular activities?

 

Monogamy is something that is possible to share with someone, the right someone. As usual, honesty is the best policy. Why do we have to have our cake and eat it too, when it comes to relationships? Isn't it better to take a step back and realize what will be accomplished from cheating and then decide whether to act on it? Isn't it also better to end your relationship before you stray?

What are your thoughts on monogamy? Have you ever had a moment of weakness?

Season 1, Episode 6

How many of us are having Great Sex with People We Don't want to Introduce to our Friends?

There are still a few guys that I never showed to my friends as someone that I was having sex with. Unfortunately for me, the town was small and everyone found out eventually anyway. One was a not-so-hot conquest with a guy named Tom Jones. You would think that the name alone would have given some indication that I should have stayed far away from him, but apparently alcohol spoke a lot louder than it should have that crazy night.

My friends, however, never had much shame about bringing their conquests around, no matter how grim they were. My circle was made up of two guys and me. One guy went through every girl within a 50 mile radius and even explored some online relationships that he flaunted, though now I am sure that he recalls them as a bad period in his life. My other guy friend, never had an eye for shameful dates and was fairly steady and monogamous in his conquests.

Have you ever had great sex with someone that you didn't want your friends to meet?

Season 1, Episode 5

Where is the Line Between Professional Girlfriend and Just Professional?

All of you married girls out there have probably realized by now that marriage is the oldest form of legal prostitution. That's right. We use sex to pay for the things that we talk our husbands into getting, doing, etc. Single girls aren't that different.

When I was single, I dated this guy. We will call him Mr. K. Mr. K. was not the best boyfriend in the world. In fact, he played a thin line between boyfriend and user. Mr. K. would invite me out to bars and clubs with him, as typical boyfriends do while you are in your twenties. However, Mr. K. would always make sure that I was driving a huge, awkward suburban full of his friends. I would chaffeur them everywhere, all night long. As if that wasn't enough payment, I would only be allowed to stay at his house for the night if we had sex. One night, I remember turning him down and getting kicked out of the apartment.

The last time that I saw Mr. K was when I was driving him home from my apartment. He got angry with me and tried to bite off one of my fingernails. I punched him. That was the end of Mr. K.

Why isn't it considered prostitution when you are being used the way the Mr. K used me? Is it because it is not in exchange for cash? What are your thoughts?

Season 1, Episode 4

Are Men in their Twenties the New Designer Drug?

Seeing as my husband is in his late thirties, this could be a very difficult question for me to answer. I don't see why men in their twenties would be the new designer drug. Most of them haven't figured out their lives yet, which tells me that another piece of the puzzle, me, would not be in the best interest of the twenty-something guy if he was actually trying to figure it out.

 

However, I do kind of feel bad for the thirty-something women who don't have anyone because the thirty-something men want younger girls. Although, that trend is evident in twenty-something guys too. The one male friend of mine who is now in Alabama, went through quite a bit of jail bait before finding his new baby's mother, who is over the age of twenty-one, finally. When he was going through his jail bait phase, it was difficult to get together with him and whatever young girl he had attached to his arm. On several occasions, it felt as if my other male friend and I were going to have to chaperone at Chuck E. Cheese's if we wanted the company of our friend.

Do you have a friend that is a cradle robber? Are you? What are your thoughts on dating the younger ones?

Season 1, Episode 3

Is There a Secret Cold War between Marrieds & Singled?

Something odd happens when you get married and your friends are still single...they keep going to the same great parties and bars and you start staying home with your hubby and kids for movie night and a home cooked meal. Why do we seperate ourselves from our single friends? Is it because the single friend that you used to have doesn't come in a package deal now?

 

One bad thing that comes from having married friends when you are married, is that there is always a play date set up to get together with your married friend. If the hubby has a friend with a girlfriend or wife, you now have to become friends, or at best, civil with that significant other so that your hubby can still enjoy his friend. Same goes with women. We love to set our men up with the hubby of our girlfriend and see what happens, just so that we can get some quality time with our bff. We think, he likes video games...you like video games...you will have no trouble getting along! Good thing is that men are easy to throw in a room together if they both like video games. They will tough it out. Bad thing is that women are not as simple and easy as men when it comes to play dates.

The alternative is to have a seperate "life" for your single friends and your marriage to your spouse. I plan single friend outings and leave my hubby at home to play with his online friends on some occasions. At least I don't have to endure awkward conversations between my single friend and my hubby if I do it that way!

Have you been set up on a married play date? What do you do to stay in connection with your single friends if married? If single, how to you keep in touch with your married friends?

Season 1, Episode 2

How Powerful is Beauty?

Though I do not know anyone who has ever dated a model, I do know that hot women and hot men can have it all. But they don't always get it all.

Fortunately for me, I don't know any models. However, I do know a lot of very beautiful women. And of course, there are those beautiful women that I don't know. Those are the ones that it seems you have to watch out for.

My husband came home from work today and decided that he needed to hit the beach for skimboarding..since tropical storm winds are here in Florida. This is an uncommon thing for him during the week, but he has been a little down lately and apparently needed some fun. So off to the beach he went.

Hours later he returns with Taco Bell and a fun story. Apparently on his way to his Jeep to head home, he was confronted by two girls who wanted their picture taken. He agreed, of course, to take the picture. Then one of the girls asked to take a picture with him. My husband again obliged. Well, this girl was friendly, apparently, because she grazed my husband's nipple ring during the photograph. This leads me to wonder, where were her hands that would have put her in a position to touch my husband's nipple rings?

Conclusion: young, attractive girls on the beach that ask for photographs with someone else's husband are powerful enough to touch parts of a husband that will make a wife cringe. =) It's a good thing I trust my husband!

What are your thoughts on beauty? Does beauty get everything?

Season 1, Episode 1

Has Cupid Flown the Co-op?

Does cupid really have anything to do with love? Could some nakid cherub really have the ability to make you fall in love with someone? If so, after he shoots his amorous arrow, is he out of the picture? Who takes over after cupid has struck?

 I met my husband at Grease Monkey. I was changing his oil and he was insulting my U. S. Army shirt, even though he had previously served in the Army as I did. Sure, I had seen him several times before at the Grease Monkey. He came to unlock vehicles when a tech or customer would lock their keys in the car. And, of course, he came by for oil changes. But this was the first time that he had ever spoke to me. He asked around about me at the shop and found out some background information. All I knew was his name, because I had asked about him too, on previous visits.

It only took me one date to find out that Mr. Wonderful was in the middle of a divorce. Like Charlotte would do, I held off having sex with him until after his divorce papers were signed. He understood, but I didn't make it easy on him. On our first date, I spent the night with him at his aunt's house and wore only a tshirt and thong to bed. He was respectful and didn't do anything. The boundaries had been set. Kudos to him for being able to keep his hands to himself.

Two weeks later, he asked me to marry him while we were staying in a hotel for the weekend. Though the proposal wasn't a grand gesture, and I had to ask him if he had meant it, I said yes. We were married eight months later, despite a lot of discord from outside parties. Almost six years later, we are still together.

Our relationship is obviously not the norm. Hell, the way that we met isn't really even normal. The intiation is different for everyone. If anything, this says that love can hit you anywhere at anytime. Whether or not it is because an angel hits you with a love arrow, I am not really sure. What I am sure of is that it took a lot of "arrows" to strike before I was able to find a keeper.

What are your thoughts on cupid?